How to Control Your Dreams

Wish you could make all of your dreams come true? Some people can... sort of. It's called lucid dreaming (LD), and it's the act of being consciously aware that you're dreaming while you're dreaming. Essentially, you're watching -- and sometimes manipulating -- your dreams.



Sounds simple enough, but LD isn't mind control. Just because you choose to fly in a dream doesn't mean you know that you're actually safe in bed inventing the whole scenario. And just because you're aware that you're dreaming doesn't mean that you necessarily have any say in what happens next.

The good news is that once you understand this distinction, you can learn how to get lucid. Just imagine: a dream directed by and starring you, a dream where anything goes -- but without any real-life consequences to muck up your fantasy.

What would you do in such a dream? Climb Mount Everest? Get even with your childhood nemesis? Wreak havoc in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory? Nope. You, and just about everyone else, want to have sex.

But, say experts, there are nobler uses for lucid dreaming. According to Dr. Stephen LaBerge, today's foremost authority on LD, author of Lucid Dreaming, and founder of The Lucidity Institute> in Palo Alto, CA, purposefully connecting to your unconscious can improve your life in ways that your mind is normally too cluttered to address. LaBerge's research has found that LD and dream clinics can be used to heal physical symptoms, overcome fears and nightmares, tap into one's creativity or spirituality, experience freedom from one's illness or disability, and, of course, have sex.

"Some people say, oh that's so common, that's so low base, but I think there are some really good reasons to enjoy sex in dreams," said Keelin, LaBerge's assistant at The Lucidity Institute. "If your introduction to sex and sexuality was a bit of a bumpy road or if you had a rude awakening, it's a way, especially for women, to feel self-empowered. If you have awareness that it's your dream, you can initiate sex with a dream character."

The practice is so powerful because your brain can't tell the difference between something it's living or something it's dreaming. An experience that's terrifying in waking life becomes safe to explore in a dream state.

How does one get in on this?

The first step to lucid dreaming is writing it down. Keep a dream journal by your bed and log every dream you remember immediately upon waking -- even if it's the middle of the night. This way, you will familiarize yourself with your own dream imagery.

Set your intention to remember these images and patterns. And make sure you go to bed thinking about them. Your mind will recognize these recurring images and let you know that you are in a dream state.

Once you're asleep, the gateway to lucidity is to realize that what you're experiencing is a dream. That usually happens when you notice something that isn't possible in waking life. "Let's say you were having a dream and some wild circus came through your workspace you say, 'Whoa, this is unusual,'" Keelin said. "In a non-lucid dream, you would say, 'Oh yeah, today we were planning to have a circus in our office.'"

When you practice becoming familiar enough with the anomalies that cue dreaming --without waking up from excitement because you've finally done it -- you're on your way to controlling your dreams. You can use your dreams to practice that big speech due tomorrow, ask your deceased grandmother for advice, and yes, by all means, get busy over and over again.